18th Jan 26 8:55 am
JamieDivorce is complex, as you and your spouse attempt to untangle the two lives that you once merged into one. Separating your cash, assets, and debts, and deciding how best to co-parent your shared children are the big issues, but there can be others, including child support or alimony. For some couples, any or all of these issues can be full of conflict, while others can sit down over coffee and resolve all of them before they finish the first cup. Some couples are in the middle of the spectrum, where you are not necessarily in total conflict but cannot agree on everything.
Divorce mediation may help you find the common ground you need and create an agreement outside of court. An experienced Colorado divorce attorney with Colorado Divorce Law Group may be able to assist you with finding a mediator, reviewing any mediation agreements you make, or representing you in court if mediation fails. Call (720) 593-6442 to schedule an appointment and discuss the pros and cons of mediating your divorce.
It is almost inevitable that couples will have at least one dispute during their divorce. Divorce mediation is a legal process that encourages divorcing couples to resolve their issues outside of court and in a more collaborative setting with a neutral third party, called a mediator. Mediation is informal, with the mediator guiding the discussion but not making decisions for the couple. The mediator helps the couple find mutually satisfying agreements on child custody, support payments, property division, and other issues.
When mediation is over and the couple has resolved their issues, the written agreement outlining the resolutions they have found is drafted by the mediator and submitted to the court by either the mediator or the couple. If mediation is unsuccessful, the couple proceeds to a trial for the judge to decide for them. Mediation is also confidential, which means that the issues discussed there cannot be used against either party in court if mediation is unsuccessful, unless there are threats of harm or allegations of misconduct.
A Party’s Guide to Court-Ordered Mediation, published by the Colorado Judicial Branch, explains that Colorado law authorizes explicitly or requires alternate dispute resolution techniques in some instances, including divorce. However, while this may indicate that divorce mediation is required, there are instances where it may not be. For example, if there are allegations of domestic violence, the couple is unlikely to be forced to mediate.
There are many pros and cons to mediation. Even if an individual initially feels opposed to the idea, they should consider the benefits and drawbacks before discarding the idea of engaging in mediation. Particularly in cases where the court is inclined to order the couple to mediate, objecting could make the individual appear unreasonable and unwilling to seek solutions that are in the best interests of everyone involved, including the couple’s children.
There are many potential benefits of mediating a divorce. Divorce mediation works best for couples who want to or are at least willing to talk through their issues together amicably and seek mutually beneficial solutions to their problems. Mediation often produces better divorce agreements and allows for better parenting and custody agreements that work well for the parents and children.
The Colorado Judicial Branch indicates that as of 2025, filing a petition for divorce or separation requires payment of a $260 filing fee. This fee is unavoidable unless the individual qualifies for a fee waiver. However, other divorce-related expenses, such as legal fees and court costs, can be reduced or eliminated with mediation. This can allow the spouses to retain more of their money and assets.
If mediation is court-ordered, Mediation in Colorado Courts indicates that each party will pay $50 per hour when both parties are present. If only one party is present, it is $100 per hour. Sometimes, the fee may be reduced or waived if the individual qualifies. If a party cancels mediation with less than three business days’ notice, or does not show up, they will be charged the one-party rate for two hours of mediation, or $200, as a cancellation or no-show fee.
Litigation can be time-consuming. Each spouse can present their side of the situation, and the judge then considers the evidence and testimony before deciding. Before any of that can happen, the case must be put on the docket, which can take weeks or months, depending on how busy the court system is.
Mediation can be much quicker, allowing the couple to move through the divorce process more quickly. Particularly in cases where the spouses get along well, they may be able to resolve their issues with just a few hours of mediation, rather than waiting weeks or months for a chance to present their case and then waiting again for a judge’s decision. Even in cases where the spouses strongly disagree about an issue, a mediator may be able to help them find common ground and come up with a creative solution instead of continuing to argue.
Though a couple may be getting divorced, they are still more familiar with each other and their children, assets, and finances than a judge. By engaging in mediation, the spouses maintain control over the decisions made regarding these issues. They can take into consideration each other’s feelings, as well as the unique needs of each parent and child.
If a judge makes these decisions, they are made based on Colorado law. This means property distribution will be equitable, and child custody (or parental responsibilities, as Colorado refers to it) will be decided based on the judge’s determination of what is in the best interest of the children. This can result in decisions that one or both spouses strongly disagree with. Mediation allows the spouses to find solutions that generally satisfy both of them, but even if one or both feels as though they gave something up, they still feel satisfied knowing that they retained control over these very important, often very intimate-feeling, decisions.
Colorado law outlines how to handle various issues, such as child custody or property distribution. This is to simplify matters for the judges who make these decisions by providing clear guidelines on how to make them. Unfortunately, many of these guidelines result in court orders with little creativity or flexibility and may even complicate matters.
Mediation allows the spouses to make decisions that give them the creative, flexible solutions they need. From unusual custody arrangements to being gracious about allowing one spouse to keep a meaningful asset in exchange for another, individuals can be open and honest about their needs in mediation. This can be particularly beneficial for couples who want to try unique custody agreements like nesting or structure parenting time around the children’s extracurriculars, or who want to use unique property distribution agreements, such as payment installment plans for buying one spouse out of a large shared asset, or establish a time-sharing schedule of a vacation home instead of selling it. They may also use mediation to establish unique arrangements for spousal support, or to establish rules the court would not generally make decisions on, such as limiting children’s screen time or internet use.
Litigation essentially requires spouses to be hostile toward each other. To persuade the judge that one spouse’s request for a specific child custody or property division arrangement, they must take a “winner takes all” attitude. They also often find themselves blaming each other, even though Colorado is a no-fault divorce state, and may weaponize personal information they know about each other. This can significantly damage their relationship, which can be particularly problematic if they co-parent together.
Mediation encourages a collaborative attitude, with spouses seeking mutually satisfying solutions rather than a “what is best for me” approach. This allows the spouses to maintain, and sometimes even improve, their relationship. This can also allow them to remain friends or friendly once the divorce is final, which is extremely beneficial when co-parenting together.
Mediation is a confidential process. This means anything discussed in mediation sessions remains in the mediation room, except for threats of harm or abuse, ongoing or future criminal activity, or fraud or coercion. This allows both parties to be vulnerable and express their needs and wants regarding the issues without fear that their words will be used against them in court if mediation fails. While the final mediation agreement in successful mediation does become part of the divorce record and is a public record, it still maintains confidentiality for private information.
While there are several benefits of mediating a divorce, there are also cons that must be considered. While the advantages may ultimately outweigh the disadvantages, it is essential to consider both sides before deciding whether to proceed.
If one spouse has more information or is more assertive than the other, there can be a power imbalance that results in that spouse getting more of what they want. A mediator should neutralize this, but that does not always happen. A judge may not approve a severely unbalanced agreement, but the power imbalance may not result in such an unbalanced order. Instead, it may simply create an unfair dynamic that pressures one spouse into giving in on important issues and agreeing to something that, though unfair, is not illegal and does not create an agreement that unreasonably favors one spouse over the other.
Typically, neither spouse has a lawyer present for mediation. This is meant to encourage direct communication between the spouses and reduce legal fees. Additionally, it allows the couple to negotiate more practical and creative solutions, rather than ones based solely on strict legal precedents and potential court outcomes. A mediator can facilitate the discussion, but they cannot offer legal advice. This can result in one party agreeing to solutions without fully understanding the legal implications of the agreements they make.
Fortunately, this is one con that can be minimized. Before any mediation agreement is submitted to the court for approval, each spouse can present it to their own attorney for review. An experienced divorce attorney with Colorado Divorce Law Group may be able to review your mediation agreement to ensure its fairness and make sure you understand the legal, tax, and relationship implications of the agreement.
Both spouses must be willing to mediate in good faith. If one refuses to cooperate or agrees to solutions and then refuses to sign the written agreement, mediation may not be successful. If an individual believes that their spouse is unlikely to mediate in good faith, they may want to consult with an attorney to determine their legal options to avoid wasted time and money.
While mediation is generally faster than litigation, it does still require multiple sessions. This can be a significant time commitment for both spouses. Additionally, if they are unable to agree, the process can drag on, and the couple may still end up in court, which can mean more time as well as more money spent on the divorce.
The mediator helps the spouses find solutions and writes up the final agreement when mediation is successful, but does not make decisions. Both spouses must voluntarily agree to the agreement and sign it before it can be presented to a judge. The judge must then approve it and make it part of the final divorce order for it to be legally binding. If either spouse refuses to sign the agreement or the judge does not approve it, it is not legally binding.
If either party refuses to sign or the judge declines to approve the agreement, the spouses have two options. They can continue mediating and try to find new solutions, or they can proceed to litigation. If an individual finds themselves in this position, they may want to consult with an attorney to discuss which option may be more suited to their needs, based on the circumstances of their case.
Litigation has a mandatory exchange of various documents, called the discovery process. This process ensures that both parties have access to all of the same information and there is full transparency. However, mediation does not have this same requirement. Therefore, if one or both spouses wanted to hide financial information, they could potentially get away with it. Both spouses must be committed to transparency and honesty with each other for mediation to work.
The mediation process only works if both parties agree. If one spouse is unwilling to negotiate, or if the spouses cannot find a mutually satisfying agreement, they are not required to agree to the next best thing or to give in and allow one spouse to have their way just to find an agreement. This means that spouses may spend several hours in mediation only to ultimately agree that there is nothing they can agree to, or that at least one issue cannot be agreed upon, and proceed to litigation anyway.
There are several circumstances in which it may not be suitable for divorcing spouses to engage in mediation. If an individual finds that one of these circumstances applies to them, they should consult with an attorney to learn how to proceed. Circumstances in which mediation is not recommended include:
When there is intense, ongoing conflict between the spouses and they are unable to have even the shortest or simplest of conversations without it becoming an argument, mediation is unlikely to work.
Mediation can be an excellent way of resolving issues for couples who can generally get along and who are willing and able to negotiate on their unresolved issues. However, some pros and cons should be carefully considered before moving forward with mediation to ensure that the spouses do not waste time or money on the process. At Colorado Divorce Law Group, one of our experienced Colorado divorce attorneys may be able to review your case and help you determine whether divorce mediation is appropriate for your divorce.
We may also be able to review your mediation agreement to determine whether it is fair and help you understand the implications of the agreement you have made before it becomes a legally binding court order. Call (720) 593-6442 to schedule an appointment and learn more about how mediation may benefit your divorce.
