14th Dec 25 8:58 am
JamieDivorce may have ended your marriage, but it does not end your family. As parents, you still want what is best for your children and a healthy, stable relationship with them. A parenting plan ensures that happens. These plans can be determined by a court or through an agreement between the parents. Couples who cannot agree will go to court, and a judge will decide what is in the children’s best interests based on the law and create a plan that reflects that. However, if a couple can agree either on their own or through mediation, they can customize the plan to truly meet the needs of their entire family, even if it is a little unconventional. If you need help finding a mediator, deciding what to include in your plan, or have other questions regarding child custody or parenting time, an experienced Colorado child custody attorney with Colorado Divorce Law Group may be able to answer those questions. Call (720) 593-6442 to schedule an appointment and discuss your concerns about parenting after divorce.
When parents are married or in a relationship, they share their children equally. Living under the same roof allows each parent to be similarly involved in the children’s lives, from helping with homework and bedtime routines to attending doctors’ appointments and parent-teacher conferences.
Once parents divorce or break up, and they are no longer under the same roof, they must have clearly defined rules and boundaries that ensure each parent has the opportunity to continue nurturing a strong relationship with their children. A parenting plan allows the parents to address issues that might arise, and clearly define each parent’s rights and responsibilities so that everyone has the same expectations and understanding of how they will care for the children going forward. The parents can address parenting areas such as allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time schedules, transportation, exchanges, and more. Some of these are key areas required by Colorado law, while others are issues that parents may choose to address if they agree, but are not required to address.
Parental responsibilities and their allocation are the foundation of any solid parenting plan. This is a significant area to address and is required by Colorado law. The plan must address whether substantial decisions will be made jointly by both parents or solely by one, and if by only one parent, which one. These decisions include:
One important note is that under C.R.S. § 14-10-123.8, both parents are legally allowed access to their children’s healthcare and school records unless a court order indicates otherwise. Therefore, if one parent wishes to limit the other’s access to such records, they will likely want to consult with an attorney to discuss the reasons behind it and how to proceed in court.
Parenting time is the time the children spend with each parent. This schedule is typically made up of three parts: regular parenting time (the schedule that is followed most of the time), holiday parenting time (for major holidays such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother’s/Father’s Day as well as school holidays such as Spring break and Winter break and which supercedes the regular schedule), and vacation parenting time (which guides how and when each parent schedules vacations with the children and outlines any notice requirements). The regular parenting time schedule often also consists of two parts, with a school-year schedule and a summer schedule. Some parents opt to use the same schedule year-round, but the plan must clearly indicate that they intend to use the same schedule or what changes are made for the summer schedule.
The logistics of exchanging the children between parents can frequently be a source of friction. By outlining who provides transportation and when and where exchanges will take place, both parents are clear on who is doing what and have the opportunity to speak up if they feel the outlined plan is not fair.
When it comes to transportation and exchanges, parents generally cover:
Addressing the nuanced aspects of transportation early on can help reduce conflict in the future.
Even when parents are amicable, putting some communication protocols in writing can be beneficial if, or rather when, conflict arises later. No matter how well parents get along during the divorce, there will come a day when they disagree about something. By having communication protocols already in place, they will have a baseline for clear and respectful communication about their children before an argument begins.
These communication protocols might include methods such as using co-parenting apps, texting, emailing, or phone calls. Parents may also want to include communication frequency, setting a clear standard for how often they will communicate about the children. Access to various records regarding the children may also be included. Many parents also choose to include details regarding communication methods and frequency between each parent and the children when they are with the other parent.
Resolving future disputes is another section that Colorado law requires in a parenting plan. With this, parents decide what methods they will use to resolve any disputes that arise in the future. These methods might include mediation or having a parenting coordinator or decision-maker, a professional appointed to make decisions or resolve disagreements when the parents reach an impasse. A child custody attorney with Colorado Divorce Law Group may assist parents in choosing the appropriate methods for their needs or finding a parenting coordinator.
Parents often include additional details in their parenting plan to cover things that may or may not happen, or to address issues they know will arise that might be unique to their situation. Many parents choose to include one or more of the following:
A skilled divorce attorney from Colorado Divorce Law Group can help explain how to create an effective parenting plan that addresses these issues.
When considering what to include in a parenting plan, parents should keep some important points in mind. By keeping these key points in mind, parents can draft a plan that benefits their children, enables a healthy and smooth co-parenting relationship, and significantly reduces disputes.
Parents must agree on a mediator, or the judge can choose one. Mediators are intended to be neutral third parties who help the parents find common ground to build their parenting plan. This means that parents should seek a mediator with experience with child custody and other child-related issues. However, it is also essential to ensure no conflicts of interest. Avoid mediators related to either parent, friends with either parent, or those who otherwise may be biased toward one of the parents.
When crafting a parenting plan, parents must consider their children’s immediate, short-term needs as well as their long-term needs. What will best nurture the children over time? Which parent is better able to provide for the different needs the children have? If children have special needs, does one parent have a schedule more suited to taking them to appointments and therapies they may need?
Parents must also be cautious not to put their own convenience or desires ahead of what is best for the children. This can be difficult, as sometimes what is most convenient for the parent or what the parent wants most may also be what is best for the children, while other times, it is not. If parents are uncertain, they may wish to consult with their attorney, a family therapist, or another professional who can assist them with sorting through the confusion.
Both parents should prepare and bring a list of their concerns, including evidence that may back them up. For example, if one parent is concerned that the other parent is unreliable when picking the children up from daycare or school, they should bring a note from the children’s teachers that indicates such tardiness or invoices for late fees from daycare. Even if the concerns seem minor, parents should bring them up so they can address them and try to find a solution in mediation to avoid going to court later or having disputes arise later.
There is no doubt that parents love their children, but sometimes that love can fuel a determination to get what that parent thinks is best. If both parents are determined to get what they think is best, tempers can flare, and arguments can quickly turn from a specific point to random accusations or bringing up the past. Instead, parents should work on remembering that their children come first, and remain calm and focused on the issue or issues at hand. If emotions run high, parents may want to take a break from that particular issue and move on to another or take a brief break from mediation.
If one parent makes too many concessions, any parenting plan created will be one-sided, leading to disputes later. The parent who made too many concessions may even take the plan back to court to change it. While the mediator’s job is to ensure a fair, balanced agreement, both parents should also take note of how many concessions they are making and on what issues. While there may not be an agreement that results in each parent making the same number of concessions, parents can ensure that neither of them is the only one giving in.
Sometimes, it may be necessary to consider the wording regarding an issue. For example, while only one parent may have a substance abuse issue, it may be easier if the parents agree to include a clause that says they will both refrain from using illicit substances or alcohol around the children, rather than singling out the parent with the substance abuse issue. This can not only make the parent who uses substances more agreeable, but it also ensures that, as children grow older and may one day see the parenting plan, they are not influenced by it if that parent has gotten sober by then.
Sometimes, each parent clearly knows what they think is best for the children, with only a few differences. If both are unwilling to concede on those differences, it may be worth considering a partial or short-term agreement. Partial agreements may mean they agree on their common ideas and allow a judge to decide on the areas they disagree on. Short-term agreements may enable them to experiment, by allowing the parents to agree to try out each parent’s ideas for three to six months, and then determine which parent’s ideas work better long-term or how to blend them into a long-term plan.
Child custody and drafting a parenting plan do not have to be difficult. With mediation, it might even be easier than you think. Whether you need help drafting a plan to present to court because you cannot agree or need someone to review the plan you agreed on to ensure your agreement seems fair before seeking court approval, a child custody attorney at Colorado Divorce Law Group may be able to assist you. Call (720) 593-6442 to book a conversation and learn more about child custody in Colorado.
